THE THING One Shots
by Anguirus1955
Summary: Various one shots from the various adaptations of Who Goes There? Both the 1982 and 2011 movies are used as material for these one shots, and no craps are given by the writer.
1. Clobbering Time

**THE THING ONE-SHOTS**

Disclaimer: John Carpenter's THE THING is property of Universal.

* * *

 **001: It's Clobberin' Time!**

* * *

As R.J. MacReady held the petri dish of blood in his hand, with the hot wire in the other, he looked at the expression of trepidation on Garry's face. "This is pure nonsense, MacReady. It's doesn't prove a thing," Garry said, knowing that the blood in the dish belonged to the man sitting right next to him. Fear began weaving itself throughout the man.

What if Palmer was an imitation? If so, and Palmer were found out, then what would Palmer do? Would he transform? What would Palmer do to the man _sitting right next to him!?_ Garry was terrified at the possibility. Telling himself that Mac's test was inconclusive only provided him with a small bit of comfort.

"I thought you'd feel that way, Garry," Mac said knowingly. "You _were_ the only one who could've gotten to that blood. We'll do you _last_ ," Mac said before plunging the wire into Palmer's blood. The blood rose up and shrieked liked a scared animal, causing MacReady to drop the dish on the floor in surprise. Garry's fear was confirmed as he leaned over towards Childs and looked at Palmer, who was now shuddering as the blood on the floor started racing back to him.

Palmer soon began to change. His skin began turning color, from flesh to orange. It started becoming rocky and hard, ripping through his clothes and tearing the rope as he grew in size, crushing the chair before standing up and raising two large fists. Palmer-Thing looked at MacReady and grinned. Windows, standing back out of Palmer's view, held his flamethrower tightly, his knuckles white with fear.

"Guess what Mac? It's clobberin' time!" Palmer-Thing yelled out with a grin. Mac's jaw dropped. "You gotta be fucking kidding!" And then Palmer-Thing punched him through the wall and into the hallway. " _Ouch._ "

Fin

* * *

Author's Notes: Yup. I, uh... well I just really wanted to see something like this in fan fiction. I don't have any excuse.


	2. Progressive Stupidity

**THE THING One-Shots**

Disclaimer: John Carpenter's THE THING is property of Universal.

* * *

 **002: Progressive Stupidity**

* * *

After locking Blair in the tool shed, where he would have access to all sorts of tools that would allow him to get out at pretty much any time he pleased, the group walked away from the shed, with Childs and Copper falling on their faces twice after tripping over untied laces on their boots. MacReady looked over at Fuchs, whose glasses had fogged up. Fuchs was looking away from him and at Childs.

"So... I guess with all of our communication equipment and vehicles destroyed, we're kind of screwed. We'll have to settle in and wait until winter is over before we can do anything," Doc said. "No, we don't wait," Mac said firmly. "Someone in this camp ain't who he appears to be. Right now that may just be one or two of us, but by Spring it could be all of us," Mac said.

"So how do we know who's human?" Childs asked. "If I were an imitation; a _perfect_ imitation, how would you know if it was really me?" Everyone looked at each other, with Fuchs looking away from the whole group as he tried whispering to MacReady, who was standing several people away form him. The man would probably chase a lone figure into the dark if given the chance. Mac sighed and decided that he'd need to get a leash to keep Fuchs from doing just that if he were ever in a situation that presented the opportunity.

Looking at Copper, Mac spoke. "Is there some kind of test, Doc?" Mac asked the doctor. "Well, I've been thinking of a blood-serum test," Copper said. "We'd take a sample of person's blood and mix it with uncontaminated blood. If there's a reaction, I'd suppose we'd know who isn't human," Copper finished. "It could work," Fuchs said, looking away from everybody. His glasses were now completely fogged, effectively making him blind.

 _I'm gonna have to get that leash pretty soon_ , Mac thought to himself as he shook his head in dismay. "Do we have any uncontaminated blood, though?" Mac asked Copper. "Sure. We've got old blood in storage," Fuchs said, still looking away from everybody. Childs shook his head at the young scientist. "Fuchs... I'm standing over here," Mac said. Fuchs turned around, still facing away from everyone. "No, no. Over _here_ ," Mac said firmly. Fuchs did a complete one-eighty before finally facing Mac properly.

"Come on, let's get inside," Mac said before everyone started heading into the station, except Fuchs. Fuchs had started walking towards the shed. Mac had to walk back over and grab him by the arm. "This way," Mac said as he dragged Fuchs back towards the main building. "Mac... I can't see anything," Fuchs said. "I've noticed," Mac replied sadly.

* * *

Copper noticed the smell of copper and looked down at the floor before calling everyone into the room. "Hey Garry! Hey, you guys, come here!" Copper yelled. Copper retrieved the keys from Garry before unlocking the door and opening it. After everyone had arrived in the room, Copper explained the situation. "Somebody got to the blood!" Copper said as MacReady stepped forward. "Wait, was it broken into?" Mac asked him. "No, the lock's undamaged," Fuchs said as he held the lock in his hands, unwittingly contaminating it with his finger prints and destroying their chances of catching the culprit, although Copper had also done that as well.

"So somebody opened it, closed it, and then locked it again?" Fuchs surmised in a questioning tone. "Would that test have worked, Doc?" Mac asked Copper. "Oh, I think so," Copper replied. "Someone else sure as hell thought so," Norris said, adding his two cents worth.

"Who has access?" MacReady asked. "I guess I'm the only one," Copper said as he stood up. "And I have the only key," Garry said, forgetting about how he'd given Windows the keys the previous day before Bennings had been assimilated. "Could someone have lifted the keys from you, Doc?" MacReady asked Copper. "I don't see how. As soon as I'm done, I return them right away," Copper replied.

"When was the last time you gave them to him?" Mac asked Garry. "Uh, a day or so ago, I guess," Garry replied. "You _guess?_ " Mac asked him. "Mm... yeah," Garry replied, not painting himself in the best light. "I mean, I _suppose_ that someone could've lifted them off of me," Garry suggested sheepishly. "That key ring of yours is always attached to your belt!" Childs pointed out.

"And Doc thought of the test," Fuchs said. "So what? Is that supposed to clear him?" Childs asked. "Oh shit!" Windows exclaimed as he slowly backed away, remembering why he had left Bennings alone in the storage room. Garry looked over at him, and his brain started working again. "Hey, that's right! I gave the keys to Windows last night!" Garry said.

Everybody turned to look at Windows. "I... I dropped them when I found Bennings," he said with a gulp. "But... they keys are back with Garry, so if you dropped them... how did he get them back?" Fuchs asked the radio operator. "I dunno," Windows said in a panicked voice. "I suppose... somebody could've lifted them back _onto me_ after they were finished in here," Garry suggested seriously.

Childs rolled his eyes. "How long has the blood been cut?" Mac asked Copper. "Refrigeration makes it hard to say," Copper replied. "But it would have to have been sometime in the last twelve hours," he added as he looked at the blood that was on the floor. It had already begun to show signs of oxidization.

"Everyone was still together when Blair went nuts in the radio room, right?" MacReady asked as he looked around. "I wasn't with everyone. I was busy," Nauls said. "And I was... in the bathroom," Palmer said nervously. "Bullshit, Bwana. You were smokin' weed," Nauls said. "Fine. I was getting high," Palmer said. "I find that believable," Garry said with a straight face.

"Yep. I was getting high, and in no capacity taking the keys that Windows had dropped and using them to access this cooler and cut the blood to prevent a test that could weed out an imposter," Palmer said in complete seriousness as he raised his hands and took off the ADHESIVE MEDICAL STRIP that he'd placed on the areas that had been cut in his efforts at sabotaging the blood earlier. "Hmm... well, his story checks out," MacReady said, completely convinced.

"We're sorry that we ever doubted you, Palmer," Norris said solemnly. "Still... this means it's still Windows' fault that this happened!" Childs exclaimed angrily. "Yeah! I'll bet _he's_ the one who did this! Let's beat him up!" Nauls suggested. "Wait... Windows has been under constant watch and treatment since Blair went bat-shit," Fuchs said.

"Oh yeah... I forgot why he had that bandage," Nauls said. "Maybe Blair did it prior to his mental breakdown," Palmer suggested. "Hmm... he _was_ missing when we all went after Bennings and while we were burning the other things' remains... before his attack in the radio room," Garry said in agreement. "So... can we still beat up Windows anyway?" Palmer asked, glancing at the radio operator.

"No... we'll save that for the next time something happens," MacReady said. "You guys are all assholes... except Doc," Windows said. "Why, thank you," Copper said, nodding his head. "He gave me a lollipop after bandaging my head," Windows added. "Hey... I want a lollipop," Norris said. "Yeah, me too!" Fuchs said. "Same here!" Garry exclaimed. "Not me," MacReady said, "I want ice cream."

* * *

MacReady stood in front of the burning remains of the blood packs. "I like playing with fire, and my beard is the best damn beard owned by anyone or anything at this outpost. Anyway, I know I'm human. If you were all these things, then you'd just attack me, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn't wanna show itself; it wants to hide inside an imitation. If it takes us over, then it's got no more enemies, and nobody left to kill it. And then it's won. I mean, it could also just sabotage every attempt we make at flushing it out, and then hitch a ride home after getting all of us real humans to kill each other," Mac said.

"For instance, it could kill someone here and then frame me for it, using our paranoia to make us turn on each other." Palmer and Norris both glanced over at Fuchs, who was cleaning his glasses and holding onto the leash that MacReady had recently tied around him. Mac continued speaking, catching everyone's attention again.

"It could also set some of us up to go outside in a blizzard and then cut the line loose so that we get lost and freeze to death. It could also poison our meals, or even just grab a gun and shoot all of us humans and then burn the bodies and make up a story for the rescue team. It could even sabotage the main power generator so that we all freeze to death and it can just sleep in the cold until Spring. There are a lot of things it could do to win, aside from assimilating all of us, actually," he said thoughtfully, giving the two imitations among them plenty of ideas.

Palmer raised a hand. "So, um, who exactly would be the most important person for this thing to... you know, kill?" Palmer asked MacReady. "Oh, that's easy. Me. I have the nicest beard, and I'm the only person who won't snap under pressure and kill everyone. I may not be as book-smart as Fuchs, or as tech-savvy as Windows, but I'm sure I could devise to test to figure out who's an imitation if I had to," MacReady said. "Like... giving each person some LSD and seeing who transforms when it kicks in and they have a trip or something like that," MacReady explained.

"Uh-huh. Rrrriiiiiiiiiight," Palmer said in response. "Uh... I have a bad heart. I think we should have a test that won't kill the subject before anything can be learned," Norris said. MacReady looked at him. "It was only a suggestion," Mac said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Windows said. "What?" Garry asked him. "Let's burn down the whole camp, and whoever survives the cold is clearly not human," Windows explained. "Um... I think we should save that test for last... or never," MacReady said. "Ooh! We could shoot each other in the face, and whoever survives is clearly not human either," Windows suggested eagerly.

"Okay, that head injury needs to get looked at again," MacReady said in an annoyed tone. "Doc, fix him up again when we get back inside," Mac said. "Clark... keep a hold on Fuchs' leash for me, and make sure that he goes to the bathroom tonight," MacReady said. "I don't get it. When did I become a surrogate dog for Clark?" Fuchs asked curiously. "Is it the leash?" he asked MacReady. "Um... that's not quite it," Mac said. "Come on, Fuchs. We need to make sure that you go potty like a big boy," Clark said before he began leading the scientist back into the main building. "Um... Clark? I'm not a dog... or a child," Fuchs said, somewhat concerned for Clark's mental state.

"So, uh... yeah. Let's all head back inside now. Everyone stay together, including the people I suspect the most of being imitations," MacReady said, positive that this was a great idea.

Later that night, the generator was sabotaged and everyone froze to death, except for Palmer and Norris, who were both imitations. As the two monstrosities settled down for a comfortable hibernation, Palmer posthumously thanked MacReady for his wonderful suggestions. "What would we ever have done without you, Mac?"

* * *

Author's Notes: Um... eh, why not?


	3. Mac & Cheese

**THE THING One-Shots**

Disclaimer: John Carpenter's THE THING is property of Universal.

* * *

 **003: Mac & Cheese**

* * *

Everyone looked on in confusion as Macready walked into the rec room. He glared at everybody with equal suspicion and contempt. "Anybody seen my hat? Someone blew a fuse in the kitchen. The lights were out in there for over an _hour_ ; any _one of us_ could have gotten to it by then," Macready said.

"Uh, what about Fuchs?" Childs asked him. "Who cares about Fuchs? My hat is missing," Macready said. "You have a strange set of priorities," Garry muttered from where he was tied up on the couch. "Okay, we're going to search the station for my hat. Nauls, you come with me outside. Palmer, you go with Windows," MacReady said.

"I ain't goin' with Windows," Palmer protested. "I ain't goin'. I'll go with _Childs_ ," Palmer stated as he looked around the room. "Hey, _fuck you, Palmer!_ " Windows exclaimed angrily as he pointed a finger at the man. "I ain't goin' with you!" Palmer said. "Well who says I want any of you to go with me!?" Childs asked.

Macready slammed his fist and gloves down on a table. "Alright, cut the bullshit!" he exclaimed angrily. "Nauls and Windows are with me. The rest of you search the inside. We all meet back here in twenty minutes regardless. And everybody watch whoever you're with, real close. Check for signs of western clothes or tropical gear," Macready said forcefully.

As soon as he turned around, everyone noticed the object attached to his back. "Uh, Mac?" Copper spoke up. Macready turned around and looked at Copper. "What?" Macready asked him suspiciously. "Um, you're wearing it," Copper pointed out. Macready raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "You're already losing it, Doc," Macready said solemnly.

* * *

Outside in the snow, Macready, Windows, and Nauls approached the tool shed. Opening the small window in the door, Macready peered inside and saw Blair eating from a can of soup, looking very unhappy. There was also a noose hanging from the rafters, but Macready paid it no mind. "Hey, Blair! Have you seen my hat?" Macready asked him.

Blair stopped eating and lifted his head to look at Macready. "Have I... what?" Blair asked as he got up and walked over to the door. "My hat. Have you seen my hat?" Macready asked him. Blair looked at Macready incredulously. "You were wearing it when you locked me up in here two days ago," Blair said.

"Yeah, but it's missing now," Macready said. "Have you seen Fuchs?" Windows asked him. "No, I haven't seen Fuchs either," Blair responded. "Listen, I'd kind of like to come back inside now," Blair added. "Uh-huh. So, you haven't seen my hat?" Macready asked him again. "Look, I hear funny things out here. There's nothing wrong with me, and if there was, then I'm all better now," Blair continued in a suspicious manner.

"Um... I don't think he's seen Fuchs... or your hat," Nauls said. "Yeah. I don't think so either," Macready said in agreement. "Hey, now wait a minute! Didn't you hear? I wanna come back inside," Blair protested as Macready closed the little window. When he was sure that the men had gone, Blair quickly made his way back over to the loose floor boards and opened them up before descending into his cave below.

Meanwhile, the three men were making their way back to the station when they saw something in the snow. Walking closer, Macready activated another flare to get better lighting. It was a charred and burnt corpse. "Is it Fuchs!?" Nauls asked as the wind whipped through the air.

Macready knelt down and picked up a broken pair of glasses. "Why would it burn him?" Nauls asked. Windows knelt down and picked up a used flare. "Flare! Maybe he tried to burn it," Windows suggested. "I still don't see my hat," Macready said. "Who gives a shit about your hat!? Fuchs is dead!" Nauls exclaimed incredulously.

"Fuchs must've found the person who took it and went after them, and then they killed him," Macready said. Nauls and Windows both looked at Macready in disbelief. Macready looked around at the dark landscape around them, noticing something unusual. "Windows, you go back inside and tell the others about Fuchs. We'll meet back up with you later," Macready said.

Realizing that only Windows was going back inside, Nauls became suspicious and curious. "Where are we going?" Nauls asked Macready. "Up to my shack," Macready replied. "What the hell for!?" Nauls asked him. "Because when I left yesterday I turned the lights off," Macready replied. Nauls and Windows both looked in the direction of Mac's shack and saw that the lights were turned on.

Windows reluctantly left the two men alone as he walked back inside.

* * *

Inside Mac's shack, Nauls noticed a Chess Master computer system on a table, along with a small oil furnace in a corner, and a blowup doll. "Alright, Sally Sucks-A-Lot, who turned on the lights?" Macready asked the doll. Nauls began to feel uneasy around the man. "I said talk," Macready told the blowup doll.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," Macready said when the doll remained silent. "Uh, Mac? I don't think-" "Shut up. I wanna find out what she knows," Macready said with a glare. Nauls began to feel nervous as he looked around the room. After another few minutes of questioning, Macready moved closer and placed his hands on the blowup doll.

"Okay, I'm done with the nice guy routine," Macready said to the doll. The blowup doll simply stared forward with its painted eyes. "TALK!" Macready yelled at the doll. Nauls was now convinced that Macready had completely lost his mind. "I said talk, dammit!" Macready yelled at the doll before he began shaking it violently.

Looking away from the madness in front of him, Nauls soon noticed something sticking out of Macready's oil furnace. Carefully inching his way over, Nauls quietly reached for the cloth, glancing back over at Macready every few seconds. Macready was still yelling at the blowup doll and throttling it. Quickly grabbing the cloth from the furnace, Nauls quietly brought it up to his face and saw that it had Macready's name stenciled on it.

Nauls glanced over at the helicopter pilot in shock. Macready was still interrogating the blowup doll for the whereabouts of his hat, which was still hanging on the back of his head from the string around his neck. "Dammit, talk already!" Macready shouted angrily at the doll as he punched it in the face. "I should've known that your feelings for me were as fake as your plastic body!" Nauls quickly stowed the torn cloth in his jacket as he watched Macready's display of raging insanity.

* * *

Norris looked outside the windows at the pitch black darkness outside. "It's been over an hour," he said. "Okay, we have to start boarding up the doors and windows," he said. Childs nodded at him in agreement, while Windows and Palmer both grabbed various tools and boards to start blocking the entrances.

As Norris made his way over to the entrance near the supply closet, he looked out the window and saw a figure heading towards the door. "Hey, hey guys!" Norris called out, before he clutched at his chest in pain. "Ah-ah! Ow!" he gasped in pain. The others soon made their way over to the entrance area, just as they heard Nauls begin pounding on the door. " _Hey! Hey, you guys! Open up!_ " Nauls shouted from outside.

Palmer quickly opened the door and let the cook into the building before shutting the door behind him. "Where's Macready?" Windows asked as Nauls took off his hood and took some deep breaths. "I cut him loose!" he exclaimed. "What?" Windows asked.

"Cut him loose?" Palmer asked. "Yeah. On the way to the line up by his shack, I made sure to get ahead of him. I cut him loose," Nauls said as he unzipped his jacket and pulled out the torn cloth. "We were checking around his shack when I found this. He must've stashed it in his own oil furnace. The wind must've dislodged it, but I don't think he saw me find it," Nauls said.

"My god. He's been _burning_ his own laundry instead of _cleaning it?_ " Childs asked in shock. Palmer, Windows, Nauls, and Norris all looked at Childs in disappointment. "No, Childs. That's not what this means," Palmer said in disgust at his fellow pot aficionado. "Are you saying... Macready's one of them?" Windows asked Nauls, remembering how he had seen Bennings' ripped and torn clothes when the man had been attacked by the Thing in the storage room.

"I'm not... entirely certain. But whether he's human or not, the man is completely insane!" Nauls said. "What do you mean?" Norris asked him worriedly. "I mean the man has lost his marbles, and he's _never_ getting them back," Nauls explained. "Oh man. First he misplaces his hat, and now he's lost his marble collection," Windows said sadly.

Palmer glared at Windows in disgust. "Am I the only one in this room whose intelligence hasn't dropped?" Palmer asked. "So, what do we do?" Norris asked, ignoring Palmer's statement.

"We don't know for certain that the Thing got to Macready," Childs said. "Oh come on, Childs!" Nauls exclaimed. "For all we know, this could've been up in his shack for weeks, being used as a rag or something," Childs said. "Yeah, Mac _does_ have a lot of old worn clothing up in that shack," Windows said in agreement.

"And alcohol," Norris said. "Yeah. He could've easily used this and alcohol for makeshift cleaning or something," Childs said. "Um, out of curiosity... just how crazy _is_ Macready?" Norris asked Nauls. "The man tried interrogating a blowup doll! He genuinely believed that it knew where his hat was and that it could talk," Nauls replied. Everyone else stared at him in surprise.

"Oooooookaaaaaayyyyyy," Palmer said warily. "You know, regardless of whether or not Macready is human, we should probably try to keep him away from us at this point," Norris said. "Yeah. That... that may be for the best," Childs said, nodding his head in agreement.

"Maybe we could tie him up or something?" Windows suggested. "Well... yeah. Okay," Palmer said. The five men soon locked and boarded up the door to the entrance before making their way through the hallway. As they passed the door to the rec room, Windows paused and looked inside.

Stepping into the room, everybody saw Macready sitting at the bar, holding a bottle of whiskey in one hand, his revolver in the other, and his hat on his head. "Hey fellas. Guess what? I found my hat," Macready said with a smile. "Yes. You did. Now... what do we do about Fuchs?" Childs asked.

"We'll worry about that tomorrow. What's important is that I found my hat," Macready said with a sigh. "So, where'd you find it?" Windows asked him. "It was between the legs of Sally Sucks-A-Lot," Macready said. "Oh. Wait, who's Sally?" Windows asked. "She's my blowup doll," Macready answered.

"I... I really didn't need to know that," Garry said tiredly. Everyone else remained silent, unsure of what to do now. "Oh, and by the way. Someone stole my cleaning rag," Macready said as he aimed his (formerly Garry's) revolver at Nauls. "I keep it in the furnace for a reason, Nauls. Consider yourself lucky that I found my hat when I did, otherwise... I might not be in such a forgiving mood," Macready said darkly. He then put away the revolver and took another sip of his whiskey.

Nauls nodded his head silently. "Now... let's get out some chess boards. We're gonna have ourselves a little tournament," Macready said with a fiendish grin, right before he stepped off of the stool and fell flat on his face. "So... do we, I don't know, let him stay there? Or do we... tie him up?" Palmer asked as loud snores erupted from Macready's prone form.

"Maybe if we let him get some sleep, he'll be less crazy when he wakes up," Windows suggested. "That's... not a bad idea," Childs said in agreement. Palmer and Norris glanced at each other in disappointment. They'd really wanted to eliminate Macready, but any plans that they had would have to wait until the next day.

Unfortunately for them, Macready's period of rest had allowed his mind to sharpen. Focusing on figuring out a blood test, which involved much yelling and swearing and alcohol, caused Windows to break down and admit that he was the one who had dropped the keys when Bennings had been assimilated, thus clearing Garry and Copper from suspicion. Clark, however, was still under close watch.

Soon, after doing a mental head count, Macready remembered that Palmer and Nauls had both been absent during Blair's rampage, which was the most likely time that the blood had been sabotaged. With this in mind, Macready decided to retrieve his blowup doll and have her tied up as well, since she had also been absent during the rampage.

Macready made certain that Sally Sucks-A-Lot, however, was tied up separately from the other men. He also wrapped a towel around her as well, since only _he_ was allowed to see her plastic fake lady parts. After this, unfortunately, Macready ran out of ideas.

* * *

Author's Notes: Mm... yup. This was originally going to be about Macready leading the group on a search for a missing bowl of macaroni and cheese, but... I decided that having him look for his hat was funnier. Also, there will be a follow-up to this one. Be sure to let me know what you all think in your reviews.


	4. The Mytsery Of Nauls

**THE THING ONESHOTS**

Disclaimer: John Carpenter's THE THING is property of Universal.

* * *

 **004: The Mystery of Nauls**

* * *

MacReady set the charge down on the icy ground between himself, Garry, and Nauls. "Alright, we've gotta bring this whole place down into the ground," Mac said, looking at the other two men. They were now the last three humans at Outpost 31, and if they didn't find a way to stop the Thing, then their inevitable deaths would be meaningless. "Garry, you take your explosives into the old storage room. Nauls, you set yours up around the generator. I'll get everything set in place," Mac said.

Nauls and Garry both nodded their heads in grim understanding and acceptance of their fates and Mac's orders. As the men separated and began placing their explosives and the wires connecting them, silence fell as they moved apart. Garry made his way down the snow and ice-covered hall of the old storage room, while Nauls began setting up his explosives around the generator room. After a few minutes, Nauls had finished his work, and he was about to report back to MacReady when he head a strange sound coming from the old storage room.

Making his way over, Nauls saw the tip of a boot disappearing behind some old furniture. Slowly making his way through the hall, the cook soon heard another strange sound and saw what appeared to be ripples in the air. Walking over, Nauls raised his hand and reached out, touching the ripple. "Whoa," Nauls whispered as he pulled his hand back. Taking a glance back at MacReady, who was kneeling on the ground, Nauls resumed exploring the ripple in time and space, before eventually stepping inside, closing his eyes. Nauls soon walked into the ripple and disappeared from Antarctica, 1982.

* * *

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a large laboratory of some kind. Looking down at the ramp in front of him, Nauls saw a small green creature, almost the size of a human school child, with antennae and a large robot of sorts behind it. Standing next to the green being was a small robot with blue markings. "GIR! Where is that computer chip! I need it for my BRILLIANT new dimensional portal device to send this Hunter Destroyer robot to the past to kill the Dib human!" the green being screeched.

The small blue robot pointed a metal hand at Nauls with a smile. "Mastah! Look at dat! We gots a pizza delivery man!" the robot, who Nauls now assumed was named GIR, shouted with glee. "Eh?" the green being asked before turning around and looking at Nauls with wide eyes. "G-Gah!" the green alien screamed before dawning the most awful disguise ever created. It consisted of a wig and contact lenses.

"Do not worry, fellow Earth man! I am a completely normal human scientist!" the green alien lied blatantly. Nauls merely shook his head. "I don't really care at this point. As long as you don't try to eat me, I don't give a damn," Nauls said, simply happy to be away from the nightmare that he had been experiencing for the past few days. "Hey, I gotta go back and get Mac and Garry," Nauls said to himself. He then turned around, only to see that the dimensional portal had closed.

"Uh, yeah. I can't exactly have you bringing more... unauthorized personnel into here. If you could simply make your way upstairs and outside, forgetting everything that you've seen, that would be wonderful," the green being said. "Uh... sure. Whatever you say, Bwana. Whatever you say," Nauls said before walking down the ramp and making his way over to what seemed to be the nearest elevator, ready to embrace a new life in a world that _wasn't_ a frozen wasteland.

 **THE END**

* * *

And that's what really happened to Nauls.


End file.
